The 2013 Fishing With Dummies Spring Classic Preview

It's that time of year again.  Time for men to become bad husbands and worse fathers under the guise of sportsmanship.  Time to gorge yourselves on steak, vodka, and cigar.  Or if you have a disproportionately large head and failing liver, green tea.

The 2013 Competition Committee has spent countless hours reviewing the successes and failures of tournaments past to assure competitors and spectators alike a continually improving product.  On behalf of the Committee and their tireless efforts, I present to you the Official Format, Rules, and Regulations of the 2013 Fishing With Dummies Spring Classic.

Arrival

Competitors are free to arrive anytime Thursday evening after 5pm.  Upon arrival accommodations will be issues on a first come, first serve basis with the exception of the Official Choosing of the Champion's Room, to be selected by the 2012 FWD Spring Classic Big Fish Winner, Tommy "It's a good size" Rogers.

Food

The FWD Competition Committee believes strongly in the equitable sharing of food and drink expenses.  If competitors choose to take responsibility for cooking delicious filets with lobster tails like only Santos can or those tasty linguisa dough things Lanagan makes, they must declare it so before the Thursday preceding the event so that the Competition Committee can pick up the rest meals on the way up.  Rest of the meals will consist of the standard grilled meats which will then become grilled meat sandwiches for on-lake consumption, and grilled meat and eggs for breakfast.  Any competitor choosing to take ownership of a meal, like those tasty tasty filets Mike promised to make, will share the cost of the meal and all competitors will contribute evenly.  The same stands for alcohol and cigar purchases intended for group consumption.  Competitors will declare expenses, cash will be collected and distributed on Thursday evening.

Format

This year's competition will feature 3 days of fishing with whole day sessions on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday up until the time that Brian Ackermann's whiny protests can no longer be tolerated by the rest of the competition.  Unlike year's past, this year's tournament will feature three consistent boat captains and daily pairings of fisherman.  The three captains will be Jr manning the Worm, Tommy on the Crappy, and, after failing to upgrade the Game Changer, Dummy will be steering The Timmy Troller.  

The following pairings are presented to encourage early wagering & collegial banter:

Friday:
Jr - Santos
Tommy - Lanagan
Dummy - Sr

Saturday:
Jr - Lanagan
Tommy - Sr
Dummy - Santos

Sunday:
Jr - Sr
Tommy -  Santos
Dummy - Lanagan

Prizes

Each competitor must submit a $100 entry fee + bring enough cash for divvying up food / drink.  $200 cash is a same amount.

Total Fishing Prize Money = $550
Olympics Prize Money = $50

Daily Prizes:
Biggest Fish: $50
Team 5 Fish Bag: $50

Event Prizes:
FWD Spring Classic Team Champions (Biggest 5 Fish Bag of the Tourney) = $100
FWD Spring Classic Tourney Champion (Biggest Fish of the Tourney) = $125 and name on the famous FWD Placard of Glory.

FWD Olympics = $50 for 1st, $25 for second.


Small & large mouth only.  Fish must be pictured on the scale.


The FWD Olympics

This year's FWD Olympics will feature the same events as last year with one new rule.  After careful consideration of last year's unsportsmanlike behavior by a certain competitor, anyone not participating in the Olympics will automatically be assigned the worst sleeping arrangements in the house in the 2014 FWD Spring Classic.

1) Indoor baggo tourney
2) Ping pong
3) 8 ball
4) texas hold em

Cash

Any competitor forgetting to bring the requisite amount of cash will be shamed in a manner appropriate to the ridiculousness of his sin.  Following a thorough recap of the competitor's shortcomings as a man, that competitor will be instructed to drive to the nearest ATM or home, whichever is closest.

Equipment

Boat captains are required to have scales with working batteries (check em before the tourney).  At least one working camera or phone equivalent must be on each boat.  For fisherman not familiar with appropriate bait please consider purchasing the following.  Any fisherman not able to tie a modified cinch knot on their own will be asked to kick themselves in the balls prior to being pushed into the lake.

2 - 4 each Gamakatsu EWG 2/0 hooks:
http://www.tacklewarehouse.com/descpage-GXWHR.html

4 each 5" yamasenkos, pumpkin green

And lately I've had fun with:

6" zoom super flukes, again as close to dark green as you can find
http://www.tacklewarehouse.com/descpage-ZSF.html

6" zoom lizards
http://www.tacklewarehouse.com/descpage-Z6L.html

For the captains of the other boats I'd strongly recommend:

In black:
http://www.tacklewarehouse.com/Yamamoto_Fat_Ika/descpage-YAFI.html

Or several of the following:
http://www.tacklewarehouse.com/Moreau_Baits_Walking_Popper/descpage-MBWP.html